Suella - A Suitable Case For Treatment.

Suella Braverman's therapy continues. She's been on the couch again, pouring it out to "her psychotherapist" in a bid to exorcise herself of a demon.

While other patients try to rid themselves of insecurities, thoughts about damage done to them in youth by their mothers and their failure to successfully negotiate potty training, Suella has a very rare condition.........a terror of small boats.

This would be a matter for her alone were it not for one thing - WE, the public, are her psycotherapist! Like it or not, we have to listen to her ramblings as she tries to unburden herself of the issues frying her alleged brain.

One session revealed to us it is her "dream"" and "obsession" to see a flight take asylum seekers to Rwanda in a bid to stop the boats from entering the UK and her mind. Yes, she said that - out loud, so people could actually hear!

Now her attention is fixed on Home Secretary James Cleverley's latest attempt to dump failed asylum seekers in Rwanda and put a pin in the inflatable boats of her nightmares with a new treaty set to go before Parliament. If it is not passed the world will end, she says, and she will be doomed to have dinghies buzzing around in her brain for ever.

There is, however, a huge stumbling block on the road to her mental recovery - the Rwanda deportation wheeze breaks every international law and treaty on human rights known to.....well.....humans.

Suella is not, however and pardon the pun, taking this lying down. Nope, she believes the UK should make itself an international pariah by flouting all those laws and treaties to banish her boats.

That is not her only solution, however. I can exclusively reveal that SB would like the Government to:

1. Surround everyone on the continent and stop them heading to the beaches of northern France.

2. Drain the English Channel and layer the bed with spikes.

3. Hang any manufacturers of little, rubber boats.

4. Mine the entire coastline of Europe.

5. Shoot anyone with anything vaguely resembling a foreign accent.

6. Pass legislation to ensure all outboard motors worldwide are fitted with atomic bombs capable of being triggered by a remote control device kept in her handbag.

And.....

7. Get us psychotherapists to vote in her and her fellow right wing "patients" for another term so that their work to completely dismantle the UK can be completed and all residents are forced to dress up as chickens and go round saying "blibble, blibble".

So, come on! It's time to pull together and help this cerebrally challenged bint banish the boats on her brain. Vote "Nonsense" - you know it makes sense!