BRENDA'S BIN (out of granthamnewtown@blogspot.com)

This is so difficult to write because it is speaking of the dead and it will ruffle the feathers of teachers - the easiest of feathers to ruffle - but a sense of perspective IS needed. Tragically, head teacher Ruth Perry committed suicide after an Ofsted report downgraded her Caversham Primary School in Reading to "inadequate". As a journalist of 30 years standing I know that, in the wake of most deaths, somebody HAS to be to blame. Those deaths can't ever be treated as blameless, just a tragedy which happened. Grieving is a terrible process to have to undergo but, if you have a hook on which to hang all your emotions, finding a "culprit" makes that process easier. In Ruth's case, a coroner found that the offending Ofsted inspection "contributed" to her decision to take her own life. I believe every right-minded person would agree. How could they not? The key point is, was that inspection THE REASON for her death? The answer is "No". Ever...

Ever thought the gods might be trying to tell you something? (Click on Read More to watch the video.Credit The Telegraph).  

You know how on crime documentaries you often hear people say "He just didn't look like a murderer"? Well, meet Ethan Crumbley. He was just 15 when he shot dead four fellow pupils and injured several others at Oxford High School in Michigan. Despite having a decidedly un-serial-killer-like name and the scariest mugshot since Myra Hindley, another interesting facet of this case is how this kid came to lay his hands on the Sig Sauer handgun used in the spree shooting. It's the USA so, obviously............his dad bought it for him four days before as a Christmas present! Ethan got life without parole while his parents have also been charged for.......for........well, for being shit parents.

So, the United Nations has voted AGAINST demanding an immediate ceasefire to end the bloodshed in Gaza. On the face of it, if the world's umbrella, peace-seeking organisation said "No" then "No" it has to be. They must have weighed all the pros and cons and decided it was best for the world if there was no ceasefire. Trouble is, that doesn't really tell the whole story. There were 13 VOTES IN FAVOUR OF THE CEASEFIRE, with   just one abstention (guess fucking who?), but the motion got binned because  JUST ONE FUCKING COUNTRY VOTED AGAINST! Yup, the U fucking S fucking A. Well done, you dipshits. Why? Well, the Yanks wouldn't be able to keep flogging the Israelis weapons if the fighting stopped, would they! Be realistic. Also, the Presidency might lose the Jewish vote if it sided with cessation against slaughter, despite, as I've said repeatefly, Zionism and Judaism are different! Trouble is, these idiots prompt anti-Semitic violence with their support...

Ever wondered what happened to The Hood from Thunderbirds? No? Shame on you. Mysteries like that plague my waking hours - and even my dreams. I mean, where is Lady Penelope these days? Lapdancing in Bradford? Shacked up in some lovenest paid for in Knightsbridge by Jeffrey Archer? What about Brains? Well, he's sure as fuck not working for this Government! Then there are the lads - Scott, Virgil, Alan, Gordon and John (in Thunderbird order, you notice)? I heard a rumour they were running a plumbing business in Southall but I can't confirm that. Still, back to The Hood. The mystery is solved, thanks to Inspector Pither. Turns out that after he gave up trying to take over the world, the original Hoody decided that, in true "if you can't beat them, join them" style, he would take up a job offer from the best tyrannical madman of them all - Rupert Murdoch. After a couple of years bumming around the world, fronting Murdoch's take over of virtually every media outlet...

There are many, many times in life when you have to accept someone says something far better, far more insightefully, more in depth and more conclusively than you ever could. We all know Trump is barmy but why and just how dangerous is he TO THE WORLD? If you ever get an hour to spare, cut and paste this into your browser and watch it. It's excellent!  https://youtu.be/PKxON_ICAWY?si=NmGWTCoFUB68rHY_

I don't think anyone should be sent to Rwanda against their will..........except advertisers! I have long railed against these reptiles and every day they come up with fresh examples of why they should be minibused to Heathrow. My latest fave is an advert for Aerial Platinum washing liquid. Our heroine in this one is some pre-pubescent girl who has a party to go to so rushes out to buy a new outfit for the occasion. Unfortunately, this dumb klutz gets the clothes home only to spill chocolate milkshake on her top. Oh no! Horror! The consequences are almost too terrible to think about! Luckily, Aerial Platinum is to hand and having washed said top in it (or more likely having got mummy to wash it) the stain is gone and the outfit is once again in party condition. A thrilling story which has you gripped at every turn. A bit like the detergent version of Psycho or Jaws. But the knuckle-draggers behind the advert aren't happy with just leaving you dizzy with this tale of extraordina...

We said goodbye last Monday to, to my mind, one of the greatest actresses Britain has ever produced - Brigit Forsyth. She was 83. Some, if not most, of luvvie world might think that is a bit strong. She was good, respected and will be missed, they seem to have chimed as one - but she was much more than that. You see, Brigit Dorothea Connell (her real name) was a lovely, charming and thoroughly likeable woman, by all accounts, and so her brilliance as an actress came, I say, from her ability to portray on screen ONE OF THE WORST HUMAN BEINGS EVER! Yes............Thelma Chambers (pet). Thelma was the LONG-time girlfriend and eventual wife of Bob Ferris (played by Rodney Bewes) in the greatest television sitcom I've ever seen - Whatever Happened Happened To The Likely Lads. The original Likely Lads was good, and sequels are seldom much good, but Whatever Happened To...... was sublime! There's just not enough time or space here to go into Brigit's portrayal of Thelma, suffice t...

Why, in the name of Christ's kittens, is the fact that Philip Schofield had a fling with a co-worker at This Morning such a scandal/outrage/horror? The colleague, said to be a runner on the TV show, WAS young - younger than Schofield - but he was still of a legal, consenting age. So what's the problem? It WAS a problem for the still-married-to-him Mrs Schofield. Affairs happen, discovering a partner is homosexual, or at least bisexual, happens. It's a private matter often settled in the divorce courts. It WAS, perhaps, a problem for ITV's HR department, most companies having in place a "don't poke the payroll" policy. Warnings, written or verbal, usually follow. People are sometimes even sacked. What, has ANY of this got to do with Joe and Josephine public or our rabid, disgusting tabloid press? NOTHING, that's what. However, Schofield IS a celebrity. He IS, at the least, bisexual. Put those two together and the gutter press and the morons who pour ove...

I used to think my late old mum was, to put it delicately, not of this earth. For instance, on hearing of the death of the King of Rock and Roll, she announced to my brother and I: "He's dead! - that Elvis Priestley!" On searching through a freezer in a supermarket she screeched to my nephew: "Look at this! How ridiculous! I mean, 'automatic duck!'" It was, in reality, "aromatic duck". Perhaps my favourite was when, in a temper, she scolded my brother and I by yelling: "Well my lads, you've cooked your goose so you can lie on it!" I am now being forced to reassess the workings of her brain, however. You see, we grew up in a bloody freezing cold house because she insisted on keeping all the sodding windows open when there was no proper heating! After years of this torture she was finally persuaded to close those windows and........get central heating installed. Hurrah! At last! No more hypothermia! Well, it would have been a great ...

Suella Braverman's therapy continues. She's been on the couch again, pouring it out to "her psychotherapist" in a bid to exorcise herself of a demon. While other patients try to rid themselves of insecurities, thoughts about damage done to them in youth by their mothers and their failure to successfully negotiate potty training, Suella has a very rare condition.........a terror of small boats. This would be a matter for her alone were it not for one thing - WE, the public, are her psycotherapist! Like it or not, we have to listen to her ramblings as she tries to unburden herself of the issues frying her alleged brain. One session revealed to us it is her "dream"" and "obsession" to see a flight take asylum seekers to Rwanda in a bid to stop the boats from entering the UK and her mind. Yes, she said that - out loud, so people could actually hear! Now her attention is fixed on Home Secretary James Cleverley's latest attempt to dump failed as...

 I bet this gets read - well, at least looked at! Ok, there are at least a couple of things I love about women. Let's face it, if I had some I'd just sit in all day and feel myself, cut out the middle woman. But girlie-types come with other stuff, and there lies the problem. Take for instance the former Mrs Pither. She decided Pither Towers (aka The Boulevard of a Thousand Broken Dreams) was in need of a bit of a spruce up. Well, that's not wholly truthful. In fact she said I was one discarded loo roll/fag end/fungal growth/interesting stain away from a council demolition order and a World Health Organisation grant. That in mind, she came over today to say she had hired a cleaner who would be coming over later to check out the pad and see what work would be needed. Fair enough, I thought, but what followed baffled me and underlined my belief in the basic insanity of our XX-chromosomed chums. You see, the ex-Mrs P set about cleaning the house from top to bottom, prior to the...

It's taken the Goverment SIX YEARS to respond to a report by the Bishop of Liverpool which made 25 recommendations following the conclusion of inquests into the deaths at Hillsborough 34 YEARS ago. Campaigners have been calling for a "Hillsborough Law", or Public Authority (Accountability) Bill, to create a legal duty of candour on public authorities and officials to tell the truth and proactively co-operate with official investigations and inquiries. In essence, they wanted coppers and the like to be legally forced to.......tell the truth and not get involved in cover-ups! Can you believe it? There needs to be a law to make the police tell the truth? Guess what? This Mickey Mouse Government, responding to the report, did n't think plod should be forced to stop telling porkies. In its response, it said: " The government is not aware of any gaps in legislation or clarifications needed that would further encourage a culture of candour among public servants in law....

Just an update on the Tories' ludicrous Rwanda deportation plan for failed asylum seekers. My original research into the costs of this batshit crazy idea put the bill at £50 million. That now has to be updated. The latest figure coming out of Whitehall is.........£150 million!!!! But it gets better. Cleverley's treaty with the Kigali chiefs dictates that the UK must take immigrants from Rwanda!!! That certainly won't add to the number of small boats crossing The Channel.......but Terminal 4 at Heathrow could get a tad busy, eh? Also, any asylum seekers sent to Rwanda who then commit criminal offences will be sent back to the UK!!!! Great! That means: 1. The Tories have signed a treaty giving the go-ahead for convicted criminals to be sent to the UK. Well, that'll help with the immigration issue - stop law abiding migrants coming here and replace them with convicts instead. 2. A clear message has been sent to failed asylum seekers. If you don't fancy spending an exte...

Spare a thought for poor 24-year-old Tamzin McGrath as we head towards Christmas. In a BBC online article about the perils of "buy now, pay later", young Tamzin said using "tick", as we used to call it, was the only way she'd be able to get through the festive period. Was it paying higher energy bills which scared her? Was it putting food on the table? Perhaps meeting her rocketing mortgage repayments? As tears welled up in my eyes and the red stuff began seeping from my aged heart, I read on to discover the real peril she faced. "I've already got money I need to pay back after using it during the Black Friday sales," she said. "So I think I will need to use them again for Christmas to get presents." Cutting down at Christmas is bad enough but the thought of almost missing out on Black Friday sends shivers down my spine! What a damning indictment of Capitalism. I mean, there are bastards out there who sell hammers which people can use to ...

  Not my words. The words of Aamer Anwar, solicitor for the Covid 19 Bereaved Families For Justice and you know what? That's exactly what it was. The former ringmaster of this shitshow is about to take the stand at the Covid inquiry and I can't wait to hear him lie and bluster his way through, for that's what Johnson will do. Everyone, in law, is innocent until proven guilty but while this is not "a trial" I can't help comparing it to the cases facing Trump........"You're supposedly innocent until the verdict but WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE AS GUILTY AS HELL!" Did he actually say "Let the bodies pile high"? He will, of course, deny it but you just KNOW he did! Was he an incompetent fuckwit running around clueless with his fellow headless chickens, like Hancock? He will suggest otherwise but you just KNOW he was. Johnson, as anticipated, began his evidence by saying he was "sorry for the pain and loss". Well, whoopdeaye! Thing is, a...

I'm not going to get into this in any depth as it's far too serious for ANY humour, far too raw and there's far too much history involved. All I will say is that Israeli premier Benjamin Netanyahu deserves some kind of award for managing to turn a situation in which the whole world was behind his country and expressed love and support following the disgusting, sick, inhuman and savage slaughter of innocents in southern Israel by Hamas fanatics on October 7 into a PR disaster in which Israel is universally condemned for killing thousands of innocent Palestinians and notching up war crimes on an almost daily basis as it bloodily throws the baby out with the bath water. Netanyahu started off on a loser, however, when he vowed revenge following the Hamas atrocity. He said Israel would not stop until it had wiped out the terrorist group entirely. I've got news for you Benny. You can't wipe out a belief, for that is what Hamas is. It's ideology, however twisted, is en...

Spot the difference. Yes, Cleverley's piece of paper comes with a free binder.

  Where's all this bloody gold coming from? We came off the Gold Standard in 1931 when the powers that be worked out we hadn't got enough to back the printing of loads of cash, which of course was a must! Our stockpile must surely have been nibbled at since? So why is seemingly every other advert on the box trying to flog gold sovereigns? Who's got all this gold? The Royal Family is the primary subject of this cash for gold scheme. Michael Buerk has been chosen as the frontman for the operation - honest, respected, honourable - but they'd hardly put up Trump, Johnson or the Suffolk Strangler in the hope they'd give the sell-off any credibility. I've got a theory. Only a theory, mind, nothing concrete, but where would there be a load of gold which "people" were anxious to get shot of? The words Brinks and Mat come to mind. Well, only about half of the £26 million worth of bullion nicked in 1983 was ever recovered so why not? So, without prejudice obviou...

Time for one of our annual, festive highlights and..........oh dear! Yes, Trafalgar Square got its traditional Yuletide gift from Norway, a giant Christmas tree...........and it said as much about the state of this country as I ever could! You see, when they put up the 62ft-high Norwegian spruce they discovered the 80-year old fir was showing signs of its age. It turned out to be a tad bald, having lost almost all of its branches on one side. Thing is, officials in Oslo who were told about the follicly challenged fir repeated what Belfast ship workers had said when they heard about the sinking of the Titanic - "Well, it was ok when it left here!" It appears that somewhere on its 1,000 -mile journey across the North Sea the tree just started to give up, doubtless on being told it was going to London. Who could blame it? All was not lost, however. The Telegraph reported that some "clever tree surgeons" - not three words you often see together -  took  some pre-cut gre...

So, our LATEST Home Secretary, James Cleverley (never was a man worse named), flew to Rwanda in a bid to sign a new treaty enabling illegal immigrants/failed asylum seekers to the UK to be jetted out to the genocidal African country and dumped. (As an aside, I believe three times infinity more Home Secretaries have now visited Rwanda in an effort to get this mad policy off the ground than have deported illegal immigrants - that's three to zero!) Still, the rabid right which runs the Tory Party these days is convinced the Rwanda waste disposal idea is not only legally possible but also the way to stop asylum seekers coming to this country. Couple of points here. One, the Supreme Court, in a legally technical ruling on the plan said: "No! For the last fucking time! No! Fuck right off! Forget it!" You see, such a scheme is against international law. The Tories would be breaching every statute and treaty on human rights because, as the court decided, " there were substan...

And another thing, why in the name of holy pisspants is it necessary to advertise female incontinence pads by showing a woman on the bog? Perhaps advertisers think we, the great unwashed, are unfamiliar with the existence of urine? Perhaps they believe women are unaccustomed to growing old, going through the menopause or going out for fifteen lagers and then having to walk home because tbe fucking taxis are too busy to help out? Maybe tbey believe girlies require visual illustrations of where the pee comes out of tbem? I don't know but perhaps using erroneous verbs such as ""think" and "believe" in connection with advertisers is already jumping the shark a tad. I have a gut feeling that women are already aware that the region to blame for their desire to murder people every month and is responsible for the excruciating pain which brought forth their revolting kids also serves as a fluid waste exhaust system. Why then picture a woman sitting on tbe lav? What...

He praises Thatcher, signals more austerity, refuses to insist on higher taxes on the super-rich and bloated corporations in a bid to redistribute wealth, has a right-wing health clone who says he wants more privatisation of the NHS, threatens to sack Labour MPs who protest at deaths in Gaza........yadda, yadda, yadda. Corbyn inspired a massive growth in Labour Party membership. He was destroyed by a co-ordinated campaign involving the Tories, the media billionaires and Starmer and the other right-wing cookoos/Blairites in Labour's nest who hung their hook on ludicrous accusations Corbyn was anti-Semitic - conveniently failing to distinguish between anti-Semitism and criticism of Zionism. It was like saying criticism of English political leaders amounted to anti-Christianity. I'm sure Starmer WILL win the next General Election, but why? Because Timmy Mallet would be a better alternative to these hard-right Tory loons who have been trashing the country and enriching themselves a...

Interesting alternative fact No. 12,879,537: Oxford University Press is not, in fact, based in Oxford. No, it appears it's actually based on Alpha Centauri or some other far-flung shithole (apologies to Centaurians). The reason for this conclusion? Well, Oxford University Press has named its word of the year as.........rizz. Couple of teeny problemettes with this: 1. Who the fuck, not off their tits on methadone or trapped in an edition of The Word, has ever heard this alleged word, let alone used it? 2. Why is OUP documenting every belch, grunt or vocal vomit of our current yoof? Considering the current state of politics and living standards in this country, surely the actual "words of the year" should be either "fuck!", "shit!", "Jeez!" or "bastards!" Why then choose "rizz"?  For the uninitiated - i.e. EVERYFUCKINGONE with opposable thumbs - "rizz" apparently means " style, charm, or attractiveness; the ab...

Yes, Reg returns! Sadly, nothing more can be sent to Grantham New Town as it's full - in fact some posts have had to be exported to Rwanda, Yemen and the Headhunters of Patagonia PLC. Equally sadly, the madness continues and Reg Pither just can't let it lie.  Almost everything - yes, EVERYTHING - which has turned this once sceptred isle into a steaming pile of doo-doos can be traced back to the rule of that grocer's daughter, that empathy vacuum, that first mad cow......Margaret Thatcher. So, strap in (or on), let's just see how GRATE (sic) BRITAIN, and the UK at large, has become.