Yow Cor Mek It Up!

So, our LATEST Home Secretary, James Cleverley (never was a man worse named), flew to Rwanda in a bid to sign a new treaty enabling illegal immigrants/failed asylum seekers to the UK to be jetted out to the genocidal African country and dumped.

(As an aside, I believe three times infinity more Home Secretaries have now visited Rwanda in an effort to get this mad policy off the ground than have deported illegal immigrants - that's three to zero!)

Still, the rabid right which runs the Tory Party these days is convinced the Rwanda waste disposal idea is not only legally possible but also the way to stop asylum seekers coming to this country.

Couple of points here. One, the Supreme Court, in a legally technical ruling on the plan said: "No! For the last fucking time! No! Fuck right off! Forget it!" You see, such a scheme is against international law. The Tories would be breaching every statute and treaty on human rights because, as the court decided, "there were substantial grounds for believing that asylum seekers sent to Rwanda would face a real risk of ill-treatment as a result of  'refoulement' (being returned) to their country of origin. Refoulement is prohibited by numerous international law instruments, including the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR), the UN Refugee Convention, the UN Convention against Torture, and the UN International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights".

In essence, the court said RWANDA was the problem, NOT ANY TREATIES signed with the UK. What's Cleverley going to do? Turn Rwanda into a Buddhist land of peace and harmony with a chat or two with its leaders? Hell, that dog don't hunt!

Why is Rwanda deemed a touch dodgy? Well, between April and July, 1994, Hutu militants killed thousands of members of the Tutsi minority ethnic group in just 100 days. In the wake of the carnage a Genocide Memorial was created in Kigali and the remains of 250,000 victims of the slaughter are interred at the site. It's not exactly an advert for Butlin's latest camp, is it? You probably run the risk of being beheaded by the touchy locals if you so much as wear a loud shirt in a built up area! As for being a dumped immigrant washed up in Rwanda having been rejected by everyone else, well, don't buy an LP or take your clothes to the ten-minute dryclean!

As if to rub a block of salt into a gaping castration wound, Cleverley actually went to visit the museum! Fuck me! What was he thinking? Probably "Ooh, Suella would love this. Hey look everone! Yes, I actually KNOW what a Stockton this place is but, what yer gunna do?".

Back to the plot. The second misconception made by the hard right loonies is that sending asylum seekers to Rwanda will deter them from coming to the UK. Well, it won't! Ask the average starving Syrian refugee hiding behind a rock in Calais, waiting for his turn in a B&Q rubber boat supplied by his traffickers. "Heard that you could end up in Rwanda, mate?" "Uh? What you talkin'? You loonyman. Sod off, want to go in the pointy end."

No, it won't work because it's not the asylum seekers who are providing their own dinghies, rabbit runs and safe houses in an effort to get to a formerly civilised and safe country. It's the fucking traffickers and they couldn't give a shit where their cargo ends up, so long as they keep getting bundles of readies from terrified people desperate to escape murder, starvation and persecution!

And how much would this ludicrous idea cost, apart from the UK's reputation as a bastion of human rights, the rule of law and civilisation? Well, a Home Office economic assessment released recently revealed that the Rwanda plan, which was announced in spring 2022 but is yet to see a single flight take off, will cost an estimated £169,000 per migrant! How does that make sense? You might as well give each migrant the cash to build their own house in Brittany! Another estimate puts the cost at £50 million! That's enough to build scores of internment camps around the country to lock up Tory voters!

Here's an idea. Why not spend that money on bolstering the asylum processing system here to clear the backlog? Too simple? Not nasty enough to foreigners? Too logical to appease the bloodlust of Daily Mail readers and the Townwomen's Guild of Tunbridge Wells? Sadly, yes.

To end, and I should, of course, have started this diatribe by pointing out this salient fact.......since when has immigration been responsible for the cost of living crisis, foodbanks, a crumbling NHS, decimated police forces, profiteering energy companies, deaths due to mouldy and freezing homes, record school truancy, a fucked up public transport infrastructure, polluting and overcharging water companies etc? Asylum seekers are an almost infinitesimally small proportion of the crisis facing us. The Tories, on the other hand, are responsible for almost all of it. But, like all tyrannical regimes of the past, they find a scapegoat and blame everything on them. Hitler chose the Jews, the Hutus chose the Tutsis and the rabid right ALWAYS blames foreigners!