Mother Knows Best.

I used to think my late old mum was, to put it delicately, not of this earth.

For instance, on hearing of the death of the King of Rock and Roll, she announced to my brother and I: "He's dead! - that Elvis Priestley!"

On searching through a freezer in a supermarket she screeched to my nephew: "Look at this! How ridiculous! I mean, 'automatic duck!'" It was, in reality, "aromatic duck".

Perhaps my favourite was when, in a temper, she scolded my brother and I by yelling: "Well my lads, you've cooked your goose so you can lie on it!"

I am now being forced to reassess the workings of her brain, however. You see, we grew up in a bloody freezing cold house because she insisted on keeping all the sodding windows open when there was no proper heating! After years of this torture she was finally persuaded to close those windows and........get central heating installed. Hurrah! At last! No more hypothermia! Well, it would have been a great step forward for Pitherkind were it not for one teeny weeny problem?..............she pointedly refused to ever turn it on!

Why then, when having invested in a civilised, western way of living, did she shy away from ever taking advantage of it?

"Because it runs up a bill," she countered. There's a kind of twisted logic there but I never could really see the sense in it - UNTIL NOW.

As winter here begins to bite and the temperatures plummet I have found myself freezing at Pither Towers but I'm trying at all "costs" to avoid turning on the central heating! Why?............because it runs up a bill.

In years gone by I would never have thought of that bill. It would just have got paid, along with all the others. Now, with rocketing energy prices, that bill will approach the national debt of Chile (no pun intended).

To further remind me of the danger, British Gas e-mailed me today to say my bill was going up again because the Government's energy price cap was about to disappear up the chimney.

Having read that mail, and shivering in the cold, I initially went unthinking to the thermostat to turn on the heating. Then, as I reached the dial, my brain kicked in. "It will run up a bill," I realised.

My thoughts flew back to mother's prophetic words. Out of the mouths of old babes, eh?