Why, oh why, oh why do programme makers assume that people left at home on Saturday nights are knuckle-dragging Neanderthals with the intelligence of a thrre-pin plug? Ok, a lot of them are, but that's not the point. While millions of our compatriots get ABSOLUTELY blind pisssed BEFORE heading out on the town to start fights in pubs, shag in bus shelters, throw up in taxis and head to casualty with a range of facial wounds, some of us poor bastards are left at home to make our own entertainment. For those of us who don't have a fucking piano or an interest in charades, Trivial Persuit, pass-the-bastard-parcel or pin-the-bleeding-tail-on-the-sodding-donkey.........or any fucking friends.........there is just one recourse to time-passing - the Devil's Lantern. Sadly, the TV programmers have decided to cater for those out causing alcohol-fuelled mayhem and not those left behind. Pither finds himself one of the "left-behinders" on this Saturday night and the televisio...