Your Country Needs You!

So, head of the Army, General Sir Patrick Sanders, warns that our armed forces are so depleted we may have to reintroduce conscription to fight the threatened future war he wants with Russia.

Well Paddy, here's an idea. Before plucking our youth from the streets to die in a war which could only lead to global oblivion, why not consider introducing driving lessons for servicemen and women before conscription?

You see, we had three minesweepers in The Gulf keeping an eye on events in the Middle East. We now have only one after the two others reversed into each other! Hamas doubtless had a lie-in that morning, happy that the British Navy was doing its job quite satisfactorily.