BRENDA'S BIN (out of granthamnewtown@blogspot.com)

There are always at least two sides to every story. I mean, look at the crisis in Gaza. While some news outlets may choose to focus on the thousands slaughtered in Israel's lust for revenge, others (like the Daily Mail and the Express?), might choose to highlight the negative impact it has had on house prices there.  Likewise, while some detail the police search of the Thames for the body of chemical attack suspect Abdul Ezedi, others might opine rising pollution levels in the river. Cut to Fluffy - Fluffy the aligator snapping turtle found in a Cumbrian lake. The BBC online decided to go with: "Meet Fluffy, the alligator snapping turtle found in Urswick Tarn, Cumbria." (I've had to correctly punctuate it). Sky, however, didn't think that would scare readers shitless enough (part of the company's mission statement) so came up with: "'Dangerous' turtle that can bite through bone found in the UK." Also, don't give me that "Every pictur...

Bad news for Biden. The DC Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that Presidents and former Presidents do NOT have immunity from prosecution for criminal offences. That means Joe CANNOT have Trump assassinated by Seal Team 6, as the orange loony's lawyers argued he should be allowed to do. There's still a chance, however, as Trump now takes his case to the Supreme Court on Monday. Fingers crossed.

So, head of the Army, General Sir Patrick Sanders, warns that our armed forces are so depleted we may have to reintroduce conscription to fight the threatened future war he wants with Russia. Well Paddy, here's an idea. Before plucking our youth from the streets to die in a war which could only lead to global oblivion, why not consider introducing driving lessons for servicemen and women before conscription? You see, we had three minesweepers in The Gulf keeping an eye on events in the Middle East. We now have only one after the two others reversed into each other! Hamas doubtless had a lie-in that morning, happy that the British Navy was doing its job quite satisfactorily.

How ironic. The USA's beloved Founding Fathers came to the country to flee persecution by vengeful, Christian fanatics in England. Their legacy? A nation dominated by vengeful, Christian fanatics intent on persecuting not only their countrymen but also the rest of the world.

Great legal defences of the 2st Century. Cue the fat, orange, barmy and evil who is Donald Trump. Quote: " Attorneys for  Donald Trump  claim that the  former president  didn’t have 'fair notice' that his attempts to reverse his  Georgia  loss in the 2020 presidential election could result in criminal charges against him." If only Peter Sutcliffe's barrister had thought that baby up. "My client wasn't given fair notice that clubbing with a hammer and frenziedly stabbing 13 women to death could land him in a spot of trouble." Sadly, it is all too easy to laugh at the moron Trump but he is actually very, VERY worrying. If the Supreme Court does not bar him from standing the followers of his cult - ALL either thick, redneck, violent and bigoted neo-Nazis or toadying, power hungry sociopaths - could get him elected president in November. He IS a malignant narcissist. I'm no pyschology or psychiatry scholar but I have researched the diagnosis and Trum...

Well, that's Christmas and New Year over again. Let's get back to the real world. It was known from 2010 that the Post Office's Fujitsu central accounting software, installed in the late 1990s, was as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike. Around 3,500 sub-postmasters and mistresses were accused of stealing from the Post Office and 700 were prosecuted. The bogus allegations led to criminal records for hundreds of the accused and sentences ranging from community service and being made to wear electronic tags to jail. Some not charged were made to pay back money they didn't steal from their own funds and many went bankrupt. The mental stress on all those wrongly accused was huge and has been linked to four suicides. In 2019, the High Court overturned the convictions of a group of sub-postPEOPLE (Oh God, take me now!) and an appeal by the Post Office was thrown out two years later. Now, 14 YEARS after the original scandal broke and THREE YEARS after it was finally confirmed ...

SIR James Dyson - well, I didn't vote for him! - packs off his employment to the Far East for slave labour/cheapo rates, then has the bollocks to fucking lecture the UK about how things should be done!  Without mentioning their names, he says Truss and Kwarteng were right! Yeah, that dog hunts. What an out of touch moron. Another of Thatcher's great entrepreneurs!